walkin in darkness is the worst thing ever.u cant see where you're going and u dont no where ur ending up. that lost feelin cant seem to go away for you feel so helpless. u r reduced to tears and cryin seems the only thing that seems to keep you together.
my journey has always been a constant battle to stay in the light but the problem is i tend to allow darknest take whole of me.then im back in that lost state eventhough light is at my grasp.
why do i allow myself to fall? sometimes i ask myself if i perfer darknest to light......if i am actually being a hypocrite at thinking myself as a servant of God but doing a poor job at keeping myself in His hands.
lots of things have been croeding my mind so much so that even God seems so far away.but all in all i no that love keeps me going.
i miss those times when i could lie in His arms witout a single care in the world. i no i still can but He allows me to stay in darkness bcoz i need to loose myself to find Him.
when i am at my lowest that is when i will cling to Him for He is the only one i got. and in the goodness of His heart He gives me people to hold on 2 as well.i am truly grateful for my brother Dev who has been such a blessing in this time of trial for me.i luv him very much and thank God for giving me such e loving brother that i can fall on to for comfort.
i ahve not written in my blog 4 a while now coz i found no inspiration. but the problem was that i was concentratin too much on the crosses im facing instead of just trustin in His hands to help me carry them.
darkness brings about His light in me.now when i think about it i realise that i ahe to go through this and there will b plenty more dark roads to journey on.it is my choice if im gonna stay in the dark, feelin lost and helpless or i can just hold on to the light which is my faith in Him.
i love Him so dearly but my love is not yet unconditional.i no i can never love Him perfectly for it is only in heaven that i can.but while im on earth at least i can try. i will fall plenty more times.i really cant avoid it even if i try but the main thing is to always remember that His love surpasses all and it is His love that sustains me. He is the air that i breathe and as long as i love.....i no that i will survive...................
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Take those stumbling blocks and turn them into stepping stones
I was talkin to devon last nite bout life and how love is such a powerful thing. you know we live while we can and love while we can and thats why we must seize the day. a day passed by without love and sacrifice is a day wasted. we were talkin bout the song 'this i promise u' which has a lot of meanin in both of our lives and as we were talkin i couldnt help it but cry. ive been blessed with so many beutiful people in my life, more like angels that pass through and change my life forever. and in an ironic way, ive also been given the opportunity to be an angel in peoples lives. i guess thats the beauty of walkin in the path of God......u never know what lies ahead and the people you are goin to meet along the way.....but u know that we all will end up in the same place....experiencing that same Love which makes all the struggles and hardships seem so worthwhile.
Just as a rose can never bloom without the company of the thorns, so to is life with all its obstacles. i have had the chance to stare obtacles in the eye in the course of my journey of faith and i know there are plenty more to come. i have triumph over some while at others i have fallen miserably. but its never about the place of destination rather the journey itself. some may have it easy, others may not but in the end, each individual journey has a story to tell about being lost, found,of experiencing triumph and defeat. as long as one fights his way through it all.
If life gives u lemons.....u make lemonade.hence we must take all those stumbling blocks and turn them into stepping stones. the more we go trough struggles, the more equipt we become. every follower of Christ has to undertake this journey of faith. we cant say that we wanna share in His glory without first sharing in His passion. even He, the Christ Himself had to go through the pain of being scourged, bearing the heavy burden of the cross and in the end, was crucified upon it. He showed us how to love by His passion and he says now go do the same. love unconditionally and never limit sacrifice for the salvation of others. the very instrument of pain and suffering, the cross became the instrument of out salvation. and for this very reason all of the hardships and struggles and the pain they bring, must be embraced with love. for only love will remain in the end.
no pain no gain.......no cross no salvation.....no suffering no love........
Just as a rose can never bloom without the company of the thorns, so to is life with all its obstacles. i have had the chance to stare obtacles in the eye in the course of my journey of faith and i know there are plenty more to come. i have triumph over some while at others i have fallen miserably. but its never about the place of destination rather the journey itself. some may have it easy, others may not but in the end, each individual journey has a story to tell about being lost, found,of experiencing triumph and defeat. as long as one fights his way through it all.
If life gives u lemons.....u make lemonade.hence we must take all those stumbling blocks and turn them into stepping stones. the more we go trough struggles, the more equipt we become. every follower of Christ has to undertake this journey of faith. we cant say that we wanna share in His glory without first sharing in His passion. even He, the Christ Himself had to go through the pain of being scourged, bearing the heavy burden of the cross and in the end, was crucified upon it. He showed us how to love by His passion and he says now go do the same. love unconditionally and never limit sacrifice for the salvation of others. the very instrument of pain and suffering, the cross became the instrument of out salvation. and for this very reason all of the hardships and struggles and the pain they bring, must be embraced with love. for only love will remain in the end.
no pain no gain.......no cross no salvation.....no suffering no love........
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Love without suffering is worthless...............
another day has arrive n im still really sick.hahaha God knows that ive been up n about so much that i needed to get some rest n so i m gettin plenty of it now. i woke up this morning really early actually coz my head was throbbing and i was asking God how He went through the pain of bearing that heavy crown of thorns pierced deep through His skull. The pain must have been worst than a hundred stabbing knives and i cant even bear the thought of the pain He went through.
hence He reminded me that love without suffering is worthless and that is so true. The more one begins to unite themselves with the pains of living in this life, the more the person will see life as a gift and not as a curse hence loving it even more. Life in this world brings about suffering and pain but these are not the very reason why one should give up but rather the very reason one should go on. as we go through suffering our ability to love is purified just as gold is purified in the fire.
He loved us to the point of embracing suffering which lead Him to His last breath. and even at His last breath, he gave it all for us. He truly showed us how to love and what love really is on that cross and i ask myself am i truly ready to take up that responsibility to save souls giving up my life? can i say here i am Lord without the slightest doubt and worry. i know this is truly difficult but i have to pray for His strenght to lift me out of my selfish shell and to embrace a life of total kenosis(self-emptying)
i am learnin to love as He loves now but i have such a long way to go but i know that His footsteps will lead me there. Unconditional love, loving not only when it hurts but even if it hurts, loving at all cost without countin the cost. That is what i am striving for.
It all starts with a single step......a single sacrifice......a single act of selfdenial.........a simple act selfless giving for that single person who needs love the most......i am called to serve and serve i shall....till the end of my days....until i am called to His side.......and ohhhh how i await that day.
hence He reminded me that love without suffering is worthless and that is so true. The more one begins to unite themselves with the pains of living in this life, the more the person will see life as a gift and not as a curse hence loving it even more. Life in this world brings about suffering and pain but these are not the very reason why one should give up but rather the very reason one should go on. as we go through suffering our ability to love is purified just as gold is purified in the fire.
He loved us to the point of embracing suffering which lead Him to His last breath. and even at His last breath, he gave it all for us. He truly showed us how to love and what love really is on that cross and i ask myself am i truly ready to take up that responsibility to save souls giving up my life? can i say here i am Lord without the slightest doubt and worry. i know this is truly difficult but i have to pray for His strenght to lift me out of my selfish shell and to embrace a life of total kenosis(self-emptying)
i am learnin to love as He loves now but i have such a long way to go but i know that His footsteps will lead me there. Unconditional love, loving not only when it hurts but even if it hurts, loving at all cost without countin the cost. That is what i am striving for.
It all starts with a single step......a single sacrifice......a single act of selfdenial.........a simple act selfless giving for that single person who needs love the most......i am called to serve and serve i shall....till the end of my days....until i am called to His side.......and ohhhh how i await that day.
I could only imagine,
What it would be like,
When I walk by your side.
I could only imagine,
What my eyes will see,
When your face is before me.
I could only imagine
I could only imagine
Surrounded by your glory,
What will my heart fear,
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of You be still.
Will I stand in Your presence,
To my knees will I fall,
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I could only imagine
I could only imagine
one can only imagine the beauty of it all when one is drowned in true Love. Of being able to walk in the footsteps of the very One who fashoned you. Of being able to walk hand in hand with the hands that molded you into life. Of being able to rest in the very arms who will never fail to comfort and console.
As i look back at this journey of Love that i have been traveling, i stand in amazement of how beautiful it has been. Though there were times when suffering became my only one companion and pain became my daily food, i still rejoice at being able to share in His Passion. Now i can only lie in His hands as He takes me wherever He wants me to go.
This couple of days has been so fulfilling as i manage to spend more time with those who i love the most. Had a good adoration time in stjohns then later on met up wit dev and spent the whole weekend with him n his family. i am so blessed to have a brother like him(thanks for looking after me while i was really sick in your place and thanks for all the comforting hugs that you gave when i needed them the most.i love u bro)
All of a sudden i got this like viral flu and its been irritatin me but i went to the doc 2day now i feel fine after takin the meds.Got a bit of rest in the arvo. Now just colleting my thoughts for the day n gettin ready to continue the journey for tomoro is another day to love and a nother day to sacrifice. The more i journey with Him the more i fall deeply in love with Him. I am so thankful for He has given me a second chance to find Him and fall in love again with Him after all those times that i have been lost in the world.
deus meus et omnia.JMJ i love you
+AMDG+
What it would be like,
When I walk by your side.
I could only imagine,
What my eyes will see,
When your face is before me.
I could only imagine
I could only imagine
Surrounded by your glory,
What will my heart fear,
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of You be still.
Will I stand in Your presence,
To my knees will I fall,
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I could only imagine
I could only imagine
one can only imagine the beauty of it all when one is drowned in true Love. Of being able to walk in the footsteps of the very One who fashoned you. Of being able to walk hand in hand with the hands that molded you into life. Of being able to rest in the very arms who will never fail to comfort and console.
As i look back at this journey of Love that i have been traveling, i stand in amazement of how beautiful it has been. Though there were times when suffering became my only one companion and pain became my daily food, i still rejoice at being able to share in His Passion. Now i can only lie in His hands as He takes me wherever He wants me to go.
This couple of days has been so fulfilling as i manage to spend more time with those who i love the most. Had a good adoration time in stjohns then later on met up wit dev and spent the whole weekend with him n his family. i am so blessed to have a brother like him(thanks for looking after me while i was really sick in your place and thanks for all the comforting hugs that you gave when i needed them the most.i love u bro)
All of a sudden i got this like viral flu and its been irritatin me but i went to the doc 2day now i feel fine after takin the meds.Got a bit of rest in the arvo. Now just colleting my thoughts for the day n gettin ready to continue the journey for tomoro is another day to love and a nother day to sacrifice. The more i journey with Him the more i fall deeply in love with Him. I am so thankful for He has given me a second chance to find Him and fall in love again with Him after all those times that i have been lost in the world.
deus meus et omnia.JMJ i love you
+AMDG+
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